Toby

I don't even know if a photo exists
of which we are in the same frame
and it breaks my heart
to hear your name,
And there are these images
in my mind alone, how long can they last?
I swore
It would be impossible
to forget your smell,
cigarettes and perfume,
your voice on speaker phone,
questioning, worrying
as if I was your own,
and I was.
It's the reason I think I see you
on the sidewalk, passing me
I double take
when my heart skips a beat.
I want to see you again,
but I'm afraid there is no way
my heart is heavy,
with all the words I'd say.

and
why did they get to say good bye?
why did they get to hold my best friends?
While I was a thousand miles away?
I think about you everyday
and all I can do is cry
because
I'm left without a picture of us
just wondering why